When it comes to breakfast, there is almost nothing better than an Egg McMuffin. The godly arrangement of egg, ham and melting American cheese festooned together with a warm English muffin is both the platonic ideal and the gold standard of breakfast sandwiches. But in all my years of marvelling at the humble McMuffin, something has always been missing: there has never been any hot sauce to slather on top.
The chain restaurant’s total disregard for the spicy condiment, which would elevate the Egg McMuffin onto an untouchable culinary plane, has never made sense to me. McDonald’s already boasts an array of Sweet ‘N Sour, Tangy Barbecue, Honey Mustard, Hot Mustard and Tartar sauce options — all condiments that are arguably more niche than plain old hot sauce — proving that it isn’t one to shy away from a detailed condiment selection. So, why has hot sauce never been added to the list?
Recently, there seemed to be some hope for an answer when the chain unveiled an updated menu with subtly spicy offerings like a guacamole and jalapeno grilled chicken sandwich, plus miniature McTaster burgers in Thai Sweet Chili Chicken and French Dijon varieties. The new additions are the fast food chain’s latest attempt at appealing to a broader and more adventurous foodie clientele. But instead of serving as exciting flavour developments, the items feel like taking a long and winding road to what should be a simple destination. If McDonald’s wants to serve spicy food, then it should start by offering hot sauce.
Yet after reaching out to several McDonald’s representatives, no one was able to provide an answer about the missing sauce. This led me to believe that the chain’s decades-long hot sauce absence has been a gross oversight; the type of omission that should force McDonald’s to question the very fabric of its being, the foundation on which it was built.
Another explanation is that McDonald’s has yet to find the perfect hot sauce recipe. The fast food chain, which makes all of its own sauces, including McDonald’s brand ketchup and mayonnaise, seems to dislike outsourcing condiments. But you can’t tell me that the same company that invented Big Mac Sauce, one of the 20th century’s greatest contributions to the culinary landscape, doesn’t have the wherewithal to create at least one passible spicy sauce.
If nothing else, McDonald’s complete neglect toward hot sauce can be interpreted as the chain’s greatest expression of nihilism, confirming that sometimes life’s greatest mysteries have little to no meaning. But this is an important matter, not a forced lesson in philosophy. McDonald’s, if you’re listening, please add hot sauce to your menu.
Even if it’s just on the breakfast menu. Just so long as breakfast continues to be served all day.
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